About 11 years ago I was definitely living through a bad time in my life. I was in the Air Force, workin' for the GOVERNMENT MAN and subject to not infrequent piss tests. Plus, I was solidly in the middle of a shitty marriage to a woman who was most definitely against quality 420 time. To top all this shit off, I was living living on base in the trailer park. All this is taking place in Denver, CO.

In the Air Force, if mission requirements allow, the base usually observes about two weeks off around Christmas time. It was the first morning of what was to be 16 straight days off for me. My then wife worked for an airline as a ticket agent. On this Saturday morning she had to take in a covered dish for a pre-Christmas lunch at her job. It was about 3 degrees and supposed to get up to a high of around 7 and there was a lot of ice on the road. So my wife asked me to take her to work. I drove her down to Stapleton airport and pulled up at the departures area. I left the car running and carried in the dish and some plates.

As I'm walking in the building, I notice right on top of the snow and ice is what looks to be about a quarter of bright green bud in a baggy. My heart was racing over what to do. When I walked back out, I looked around and didn't see any cops. I nonchalantly picked up the sack and drove carefully away. Checking to see that I wasn't being followed (being in the military only makes you a little parnoid), I opened the bag. HOLY SHIT, I had a serious portion of a Rastaman's Christmas tree! It was pungent and sticky!!!!

The next question was how to get it on base. Rarely, but often enough to make it an issue, they have dope dogs at the gate. The way this shit smelled, I'm thinking it's a risk factor. I'm riding around, listening to the radio, trying to think of my next move when the weather comes on the radio. It's cold enough to be a BIG deal and the weather guy says DON'T TAKE YOUR PETS OUTSIDE, ESPECIALLY DOGS BECAUSE THEY CAN GET SERIOUS FROSTBITE ON THEIR NOSE!!! Great googly moogly!

So, I stick the sack in my thermos, stop at the 7-11 for some papers, and roll my happy ass into the base. The gate guard just waves me through. Joy!

When I get in the house, I twist up a MAJOR fatty, put on some Bad Brains, and light up. I can barely smoke half of this beast and have to sit on the couch for a LONG time. After about two hours, I smoke the other half. It is one of the best highs I have ever had. To cover the smell and alleviate a serious case of the munchies, I make up a batch of my homemade spaghetti sauce with extra garlic. A couple of hours later, I am sober enough to pick up my wife.

This went on for the next several days. It turned out to be one of the best Christmases ever.