It was a typical day in the life a true stoner, wake and bake, followed by more baking. That's all my roommate and I did all day long, sat around passing the 3 foot bong making Taco Bell trays full of weed disappear. We had just moved into the apartment, and it was our first one. We didn't really ever think about the downfalls to smoking in the living room ten feet from the door. Oh, I should mention that the bud I was getting came from Canada, it was the dankest bud anyone in the area had ever seen. We had some legends too, people who'd smoked since before I was born. Not to mention it carried a four grand price tag for a pound. Believe me I WAS NOT getting ripped off. I was able to make my money and quite a bit more off of it.

The only reason I mention that is it explains why when you take a bong hit, the smell lasts for a couple dayz. Anywho, we were smoking later that night, and we had a "house warming party". Basically all our homies came by to smoke and drink and just straight get fucked up. Well we had the radio up pretty loud, and our neighbors had called the cops. The knock on the door scared the shit outta us, and staring through the peep hole and seeing the shiny badge staring back was a buzz kill and one of the only times I've ever been scared. The first thing I did was turn to my roommate and mouthed "IT'S THE FUCKING COPS". Fortunately everyone seemed to naturally know exactly what they were suppose to do and in under a minute the room was clean and I had a man ready to flush the shit at my command. Although there was no way you can flush five pounds of bud, you could flush the quarter pound of shrooms first. When I opened the door I know for sure a cloud of smoked followed, and judging by the look on the cops face he saw it. His words were "Sir, I'll be right back".

I closed the door and started doing my best to air out the living room. I ran around like a mad man with 6 incents (sp?) burning at one time. I was squirting CLEAR EYES in my eyez and luckily my roommate smoked BLACK N MILDS so i fired it up and puffed one down in about 15 seconds. Then another knock came on the door, and I fired another one up and walked outside. I closed the door behind me, and now there was a second cop there. Being an expert stoner I was able to keep my cool and answered all their questions quickly and accurately, and when they re-questioned me I fed them the same answers. They wanted to go inside but I told them not without a warrent, which is pretty ballsy to say when I know I reeked of bud and was high until I started talking to them. Some how I lucked out and they left without further questions.

When I came back inside we decided to celebrate not being in jail instead of our new apartment. Oh and I later found out the name of the bud I was getting, Sweet Tooth. : ) That's right, eat your heart out.